I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
