like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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