i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
