butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
