ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
