shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
