Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
