Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
