this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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