in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
