By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
