Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
