Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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