If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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