I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
