He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
only you would photoshop your dick
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
