First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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