he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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