Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
