its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
