is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
