your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
