I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
4 words: hood of his car
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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