The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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