i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
