just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
