I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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