"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
