i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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