Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
