Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
