i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
