We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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