Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
True college students do jello shots in the library
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
