piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
