I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
