I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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