can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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