i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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