i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
