Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
