I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You're like the curious george of whores
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
