If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
