i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
