im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
