Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
