just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
