..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
