guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
