Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
one two three fourrrrnication!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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