Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
home. puking in laundry basket.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
