Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
