I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
